that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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