***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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