Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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