I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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