I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
