I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
