She is in my trunk
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
