Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize