my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
