Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
