Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My feet surprised me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
