we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
