So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
