this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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