and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Bring me that man meat
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
