Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
