Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize