i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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