I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
