I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
why is half of my head shaved?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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