Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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