Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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