Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
