Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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