so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
