proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize