he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
