I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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