I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
where am i from again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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