Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
