In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
