hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
