So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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