Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I FOUND THE LEGS
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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