when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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