Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
