Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
