forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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