do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
