I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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