So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
