is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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