ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have tasted many bathrooms
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
