Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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