my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
