No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
