We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
