Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ketchup is God's man juice
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
