Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
