youre lurking in front of me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
