Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
