I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
