I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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