Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
