I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im holly from the hills drunk
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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