he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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