i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
