Moan for me like Helen Keller
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize