remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
