Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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