Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
