I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
