jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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