Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize