She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
